Eventually after 6 months of studying and applying for schools, I passed the most stressful time of my life so far and am moving on. So far it has been better than I expected, thanks to tons of support from family and friends. I did promise when I succeed, I will write a blog entry or a Facebook note, entitled "Acknowledgement", to show my appreciation for them. I truly hope that this day is coming soon :).
Meanwhile, there are always several heart words:
If I am successful, whether in Vietnam or anywhere else, it will definitely be awarded by my mother's sacrifice. My dream is also her dream.
In 2008 when being given my first chance to go abroad to Peru and the United States, I was so excited that I forgot how my parents could afford the flight tickets to two countries and my stipend in one month living there. After coming back, I knew that my dad had been very uncertain, he told my mom to consider about funding my trip carefully. He even said that he would prefer using the same amount of money for fixing my house's roof. However, my mom was very decisive, she understood how valuable that chance was for a Vietnamese nineteen-year-old girl to grow up, see the outside world and nurture the big future dream. Without my mother, I could not become who I am now and there might not be any "American dream" inside me.
In 2010, I had a burning desire to take my internship abroad. I was fed up with working in traditional environment and also missed travelling. Although I successfully secured several working positions in Europe and South Asia, the $3.000 flight tickets and traveling cost seemed to be too much for only an internship. Many people, including my dad, questioned if it is worthy to support that much for only an 2-week internship. Whereas, my mom confirmed that it was right to find an internship abroad so that I would gain much more experience than other peers but she encouraged me to choose a cheaper option. Eventually, I decided to go for Taiwan's internship program with Eden and it was one of my happiest life-learning time ever. It would have been nothing without my mother's advice and vision.
In 2011, after graduating from college, I just could not wait for going abroad to pursue a master, though I had no idea of my desiring major and application process. When my mom forced me to complete the job application instead of school application, I was very mad. I thought she "betrayed" me - she was always the only one supporting me to study further and then turned me down when I needed her the most. I was very aggressive at that time. Nevertheless, I still went to the job interviews and passed through the three-stage employment test as an obligation. After one year of working in this office, I fully understood my mom's incentive of pushing me to go there. The only thing she wanted to do is to train me to be a better person. I learnt a lot from the office - how "adults" behave at work, how they lie to each other, how I cannot fit in and especially what I want to be in the future. If I had not worked in this educational institution, I could have not decided to be an educator and my professional profile could not been that good.
In 2012, I decided to give up the job with a salary of almost 10 million VND monthly to find my chance again. My mom was very regretful because my job at that time was very good and could help contribute well for the whole family's income. However, she told me that she would not be happy if I do not feel happy going to work everyday. And she said it was the "time to change". From a college teacher to an unemployer - I was not the loser but a stranger. It was just painful to hear my mom explained to other people, who do not understand my vision and my passion. Even now, at this very moment, many people are still so against me or jealous at any little succeed that I made. But you know what? It does not matter - it never does since there is always a great woman holding my back.
So, now people can say I am such a lucky person because I got admitted to top schools. However, I know the biggest luck of my life is being my mom's daughter. Fortunately, this luck lasts forever :)
